Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
