wat bout pragnant strippers??
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara