Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
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