Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!

  (630): View more from Illinois

  U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?

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  (630): Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins? (313): Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats! (630): U look good, r we getting naked in ur car? http://tfl.nu/yxpj
  Replies (16) Good night (1252) Bad night (1142)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.

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  (978): I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b. http://tfl.nu/o2b7
  Replies (33) Good night (2500) Bad night (1520)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.

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  (816): Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same. http://tfl.nu/qpk7
  Replies (28) Good night (830) Bad night (4068)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants

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  (516): and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants http://tfl.nu/bet3
  Replies (14) Good night (14241) Bad night (1062)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?

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  (646): Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP? http://tfl.nu/u40s
  Replies (154) Good night (11918) Bad night (2202)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.

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  (850): I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized. http://tfl.nu/cbfh
  Replies (11) Good night (5060) Bad night (972)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.

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  (410): I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube. (1-410): I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds. http://tfl.nu/szhm
  Replies (13) Good night (4891) Bad night (946)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.

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  (720): He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim. http://tfl.nu/2u9p
  Replies (8) Good night (3603) Bad night (1265)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?

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  (605): How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts? http://tfl.nu/1g9l
  Replies (16) Good night (2926) Bad night (754)
• Favorite

  (+81): View more from

  I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat

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  (+81): I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat http://tfl.nu/lmi0
  Replies (1) Good night (638) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.

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  (206): I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come. http://tfl.nu/a9r3
  Replies (0) Good night (737) Bad night (335)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma

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  (919): Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma http://tfl.nu/tsev
  Replies (1) Good night (934) Bad night (295)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.

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  (516): I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams. http://tfl.nu/a235
  Replies (2) Good night (560) Bad night (342)
• Favorite

  (+35): View more from

  Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?

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  (+35): Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean? http://tfl.nu/kb5k
  Replies (1) Good night (295) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"

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  (425): I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours" http://tfl.nu/sls8
  Replies (3) Good night (878) Bad night (253)

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