I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?