You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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