Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me http://tfl.nu/1pq8
  Replies (2) Good night (1113) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night. http://tfl.nu/k8do
  Replies (15) Good night (675) Bad night (1777)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen. http://tfl.nu/fkde
  Replies (47) Good night (5603) Bad night (1449)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends. http://tfl.nu/ox60
  Replies (72) Good night (10204) Bad night (829)
• Favorite

  (276): View more from Virginia

  Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (276): Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles http://tfl.nu/8prl
  Replies (8) Good night (924) Bad night (4974)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands http://tfl.nu/w6ka
  Replies (8) Good night (3390) Bad night (900)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me. http://tfl.nu/7tsq
  Replies (19) Good night (1125) Bad night (3693)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover... http://tfl.nu/lbcp
  Replies (7) Good night (1091) Bad night (3319)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips. http://tfl.nu/10y5
  Replies (14) Good night (3289) Bad night (1911)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone. http://tfl.nu/46r1
  Replies (5) Good night (2740) Bad night (719)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?

  (1-319): View more from Iowa

  Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Thanks bro

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement? (1-319): Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice. (319): Thanks bro http://tfl.nu/7e10
  Replies (9) Good night (967) Bad night (1673)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls. http://tfl.nu/qrvu
  Replies (6) Good night (1490) Bad night (526)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first. http://tfl.nu/6gn4
  Replies (1) Good night (646) Bad night (335)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity. http://tfl.nu/gy6t
  Replies (4) Good night (822) Bad night (258)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards. http://tfl.nu/rmew
  Replies (0) Good night (493) Bad night (304)

Randomize