Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.