I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.