My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
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I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
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I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
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