Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
