whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
kristin has been a bad kristin
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
All the doctor said was why
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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