I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
don't judge my taste in strippers
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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