i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
