If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
