he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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