5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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