The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
