is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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