office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
