I think i sorta joined a cult last night
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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