I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize