Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
All I want is dick and wine.
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