I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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