If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
