you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
