Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
