Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I hate all girls vehemently.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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