Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
