Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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