I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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