after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
