Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
