Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.

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(678): View more from Georgia

I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"

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(518): View more from New York

He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(407): View more from Florida

I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.

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(352): View more from Florida

Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.

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(818): View more from California

Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend

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