Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.