I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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