I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.