Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Randomize
