Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
