After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
