he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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