Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
