and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
