the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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