somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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