I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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