I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
