I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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