new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
