Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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