Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Randomize
