im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
