I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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