this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
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The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
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But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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