im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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