he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
