We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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