Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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