wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
