Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You may now shotgun with the bride
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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