Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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