In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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