At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
