We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
