don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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